So Many Distractions!

I wake up in the morning and check my phone for the time. I switch on the internet, and my phone starts beeping to the notifications of Whatsapp, Gmail, and other apps. I glance through my Whatsapp messages to see if there's anything important. I then check my inbox and impulsively delete the emails from the 'Promotions' tab. Well, that is a small part of it. Then, there's Instagram, the 'Search' tab that opens up random posts of total strangers - as decided by some weird algorithm. I haven't mentioned the Ecom apps that also reside on my phone. Coming out of the virtual world, I hear a rooster crowing loudly in the neighborhood. There's the sound of the mixer grinder coming from an apartment nearby. The list of sounds goes on.

Why am I writing about all this? Well, it's because we live in an age of distractions. Yes! Our world is filled with distractions - not just our virtual world, but our real world as well. Our attention is constantly moving from one thing to another. We give a few minutes or maybe even seconds to each thing. There's so much going on! It is overwhelming. Everyone, irrespective of age group, is affected by distractions. 

Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

I don't know what will work for everyone, but below are some points. I hope someone finds them helpful. 

Acknowledge that there are distractions. 

Most of us don't even know we are distracted. We are on auto-pilot. We live a life based on society's terms and move through each day. 

Note down your biggest distractions. 

Distractions could be social media apps, online shopping apps, music, television, virtual games, etc. They could be something from the non-virtual world - your neighbors' loud voices, vehicle sounds, crows, social functions, etc. 

Now the best part - finding solutions. 

With the virtual apps - you could switch off the notifications. I did this with apps like food delivery, shopping, and even Gmail. I check my email a few times a day, but that's it - no notifications. You could uninstall certain apps - that aren't adding quality to your life. These steps made a huge difference in my life. 

Alone time. 

We all need those moments with ourselves - to reflect, to tune in, and to just be. This is what brings us back to us. I really think it is best to do this without our phone, or with the phone on silent mode. We can use this time to journal, think, and let go of the outside world. 

Letting go of FOMO. 

Back in the past, people just lived their lives without watching the highlights of others' lives. In today's world, we see perfect pictures of the best moments of other people's lives. We see their accomplishments - their relationships, marriages, homes, career updates, travel highlights, etc. Most of us silently compare ourselves to these projected lives of others. I know it's hard, but we really need to remind ourselves that life is not a competition. There is no reward for who traveled the most, made love the most or got married the earliest. It all happens according to universal timing. If you find it difficult to let go of FOMO, take a social media break, or plan the amount of time you spend there. Also, take time to write a gratitude list of the nice things in your own life. 

We're all trying to create the best life, with the knowledge we have. Every time we falter and fall into the trap of distractions, we need to free ourselves using ways that work best for us. 

Friends Who Come Back

Some days ago, I got back in touch with a friend with whom I lost contact years ago. Meeting my friend after so many years (more than a decade actually) felt amazing. It brought many emotions and feelings and was a mix of joy, surprise, nostalgia, and a lot of other things. While I was still wondering how the years had passed so quickly (it all feels like yesterday) and how we had gotten busy with our lives, meeting each other made us realize that nothing much had changed. 

We say that social media sites and technology help us stay connected all the time with family and friends, but I also feel that there is something extra special about actually talking to someone over the phone, sending them a handmade present, or meeting them in person. Technology is but a tool to help make our life easier. It cannot replace the beauty of true connection. Our ancestors knew the importance of actually meeting up with their family and friends and thus they were much more connected. 

Seeing pictures and status updates of people online cannot replace the feeling you get when you actually talk to them. It is much more personal and helps build the quality of the friendship. 

Over the years, I made many friends. Some of them have stayed, and some went out of touch over time. The ones that really matter to me are the ones who make the effort to keep in touch, not just on social media but in real life. They are the ones who accept me with all my flaws and life experiences. I accept them the way they are too. 

In life, we will meet many people. If you feel that you want to keep a friendship growing, then make the effort to meet them in person or take the time to call them. Wish them on their birthday, ask them how they are doing. These old-school and simple things will always mean more than a social media update. 

While we see everyone staring into their phones and looking at the updates of their friends, colleagues, and relatives, all this has just left us deeply disconnected from each other. These things don't really help us improve our relationships in any way. They are just an illusion that makes us feel we are in touch with everyone. It is best to live a simple and private life and share what matters to those who matter. It is beautiful to see how old friends come back to our life and while everything seems to have changed, it all still feels the same. It feels like home :)

Re-Invent Yourself !!

Where did 2020 go? It's already 2021 and we are into a new year. I realized that I hadn't blogged for quite a long time, due to having gotten lazy, I guess? I suddenly felt the need to start writing once again. And so, here goes! Today's post is a simple one, about a topic that most of us can relate to - Re-inventing yourself. 

Image Creds: Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels 

While most of us are growing up, we start having a certain set of ideals and ways of thinking and living. Many of us have certain interests like reading, hiking, cycling, etc. As we grow up, we find it more difficult to move out of the kind of person we are. So, for example, if you are someone who is considered as 'shy', you live your whole life believing that to be true. The same goes for if you enjoy singing, then the world expects you to be doing that throughout your life.

We end up having rigid ideas of who we are and the image we have built over the years. Through this post, I would like to convey to everyone that it is ok to give yourself permission to change and let those parts of your life that dont resonate with you anymore fall away. There is no need to be scared since as you let go, wonderful new things come into your life to take the empty places. 

Some examples of how you can re-invent yourself, and make changes in your life are: 

1) If there is something you have always wanted to do with your looks...like getting that new haircut, changing your wardrobe style, painting your nails and creating art on them (nail art), then you should absolutely go ahead and do it!

2) If you find an existing hobby or interest to be something you don't enjoy anymore, then leave it and move on to something new and fun!

3) Don't marry someone you don't love. (Or marry only when you find love.) There are many people out there who have a marriage that is empty, and that is not a great place to be in.

4) Accept every flaw of yourself. Love it, and acknowledge it. If you don't, then who will?

5) Let go of friendships that are not authentic. (You don't want fake people in your life, right?) If someone really cares, they will stick up with you no matter what. The others are just crowd...that will go away anyways.

6) Don't entertain one-sided relationships. (This can be any kind of relationship - friends, romantic, relatives, or others). 

7) Remember that class you always wanted to take? Take it now. 

8) You don't have to put up your life on social media. Most of what you see there are just moments of people's lives. (Let FOMO go away.)

You can add to the list as and when you find more things to add. There are no hard and fast rules here since it is life and it is different for everyone. The main thing to remember is to be fluid and flow through life without having to be stuck in a box. 

Go out there and Re-Invent yourself! Nature does it all the time..that is how we have seasons. 

Before Sunrise - My Review

A few days ago, I watched a movie called "Before Sunrise". I had heard about it long ago but eventually forgot about it. Last week, I chanced upon it on Netflix and got watching. I am not narrating the movie here, but I'm sharing my thoughts on it.

The movie is about two people who meet on a train by chance. They start talking about their experiences and all the random things of life.  Some of the topics they discuss are their childhood, their upbringing, love, men and women in society, happy couples, life and after, souls, etc. The conversations flow without any effort from both sides. Some of the things they talk about are things that I have thought of myself many times in the past.  This is one of the reasons why I relate to the movie so well.

What I feel throughout the movie is that I am not part of the audience but I'm also with them in the movie. It feels so real! I feel like I am having those conversations with them because they appear like one of us.

There are scenes that make me think, there are others that make me happy and there are some that make me sad. Some parts of the movie bring up a series of emotions...

During one of their discussions, the character Jesse asks Celine a few questions about souls.  That if re-incarnation is true, then how is it that many years ago there were much fewer people (souls) than there are today. So does that mean that we are just fragments of those who lived before? Is that why we're so scattered? Well, I think I have thought about this same question and even discussed it with people in the past. There were many scenes like this where I told myself "Hey, I've had that same thought!"

The scene where a street poet suddenly stops them and tells them he'd write them a poem based on a word they gave him, and if they felt it added something to their lives, they could pay him. This scene touched me a lot. I loved the effortless performance of the poet (Dominic Castell). The poem he recites for them is beautiful. Yet there is something about this scene that brought emotions of sadness to me. Someone as talented as the poet shouldn't have to take to the streets and write poems for strangers is what I felt. He should've been a famous writer - he has the power to touch people with his words. Does our world take extremely talented people for granted? Or is the world scared that they would touch it's soul so deep through their work? May be people like him have the ability to see through the rawness of life and they have the courage to write about it and that's what the world is scared about? I don't know... But there must be so many talented writers and poets and artists who see beyond the mundane life. What will their story be like? Would they feel sad for themselves? Would they be angry with their talent? Would they not really have the time to think about it all? Would they just be happy being so talented? I don't really know... But if I could, I would have asked the poet about his life, his dreams, his love, his story.....I'm sure he too has a story...We all do, right?

There are some scenes in the movie which made me smile, like the one in the music shop where Jesse and Celine can't help but look at each other, at the same time trying to hide the fact that they are actually looking. It's so natural. So real. The telephone scene is also very nice - it brings emotions like joy, vulnerability, love all out at once.  After all, in a world like this, isn't it really tough to allow someone into our life? Love can make you feel vulnerable (what if they don't like me?), happy (love makes you feel happy), confused (is this love?), scared (what if they hurt me?), and so many other things all at once. The actors portray all those emotions so well...

There were no fancy dialogues about love, nothing outside the natural. Yet, there were emotions of deep love in their eyes. Love should be deep, it should be intense, it should make one question everything about their life before it happened, it should be passionate, it should be wild, it should be imperfect, yet very real. This is the love I saw between Jesse and Celine.

This is a movie I am glad I watched. It was shot in the year 1995 and I am watching it now! Yet, I was able to connect to it much more than some of the movies of today. Maybe, somethings remain beautiful with time.

The actors of the movie are Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.

Evolving

Life never stays constant. Everything is always changing. Everything is in a state of movement or flux. If we go back to a city after many years, we wouldn't recognize it because it's changed. Call it progress or shift or evolution...it's all the same. I personally like calling it Evolution. Each one of us is in the process of evolving, whether we like it or not. So what does this process feel like? If we look at our own life, we can see how much it has changed in the past few years. The food we liked when we were in college might not be something we like now. In my own personal life, I've experienced it in many ways...Let me be a little precise.. 

My Interests : Well, this is one which happens to all of us, right? Our interests change with time. As for me, I've seen my hobbies and interests change or shift a lot. Until recently, I used to read a lot about Spirituality and was very keen on finding the origin or deeper meaning of life..I used to read the theoretical and abstract articles on spirituality, you know? Of late, I've let go of that... it no longer interests me. What interests me now is the more mundane and normal things of life.. like enjoying a cup of home made hot chocolate... I don't really care how spiritually advanced I am nor do I look for answers about the mysteries of life.... I enjoy reading beauty blogs or watch dancers perform. I understand that there is beauty in the mundane and usual things of life.

Self Acceptance : I used to have a tough time accepting some parts of myself...but now I am starting to accept and love myself exactly the way I am. I can't be another person, nor can they be me. I learnt this lesson from my cat. He has no clue what his personality is, nor does he think as much as human beings do...but he accepts himself and doesn't try to change himself or beat himself up..in fact all plants and animals are peaceful being themselves...and I think it's so important that even humans learn "self-acceptance".

Being Selective : While I was in my early 20's I wasn't bothered about my living space and the food I ate, etc. A bowl of Maggi was more than enough for dinner. Sometimes I would just have a burger at night....I now feel more aware of what I surround myself with...and what my habits are... now I am more aware of what I eat, the space I live in, who I let into my life....in short, I'm learning to be selective and cater to my needs more. I respect my needs and I filter out the rest.

Relationships / Friendships : As we evolve, the people in our life change. Some of the people I never thought would become my friends are the ones I talk to the most these days. Some friendships have stood the tests of time and life.. and these are people I truly cherish. They are people with whom I can talk for hours not get bored. It's quality over quantity now...unlike a few years ago when I was too immature to be aware of this.. 

Let Go : At the end of the day, everything is an experience. There are nice experiences and there are the lessons. The most important thing I tell myself is to let them all go..so that new experiences can happen..I have been the kind who usually has a tough time letting go of experiences and things from the past...but in reality, what is truly there is the present moment..it is really all we have... so no matter what I did or didn't do, the mistakes I made, the people who went wrong in my life... I make a habit to let them go and make space for the new..

Social Media : I used to be a social media addict...I loved putting my life up there...and now... I rarely put up anything related to my personal life up there...I occasionally do upload a pic, but I'm very aware of the audience and I use a lot of privacy settings.. . I use social media for my work, but I don't share my life up there... Instead, if there is something really important, I inform my friends and family personally..instead of putting up my life on stage... I am really becoming a private person..and it's so beautiful! It feels new and very nice..

A lot of small things and big things change in our lives..as we evolve...it's all part of maturing and moving ahead on our life's journey... These changes are nothing to be afraid of..they are normal and we all go through them at some point in our lives..

So, keep evolving, keep changing and keep being you!

Furry Friends

Pets have this amazing capability to heal us and bring us to a state of peace and joy.  Spending time with a pet, even if its just a few minutes can leave us feeling rejuvenated.

Pets animals have a high life force energy, and that is what energizes us. In today's world, life has become very fast and competitive. People spend a lot of time with electronic devices and the fast pace of life has made us lose touch with ourselves.  Studies have shown that just patting a pet for a while can relieve stress and it also has a positive emotional effect on people. 

That is why many hospitals have therapy dogs to help patients recover.  There are places where people can go and spend time with animals, bond with them and feel the connection.  Dogs are known to help children with learning and behavior disorders. They also have a positive impact on older people. 

I have experienced the benefits of bonding with pets myself. This is an experience I can't really describe in words. I feel it in my heart.

So for those of you who have pets, I think you already know the benefits of having them in your life. And those of you who don't like keeping them at home can always visit an animal rescue and spend some time there. A few visits and you might just decide to adopt a pet! 

It's the same life that exists in all of us - humans, animals, plants. Previous generations knew and were consciously aware of this, but with time we have forgotten and have got busy with our life and goals. May be it's time to re-kindle the connection.

A Short Post

I haven't written in a while, so here goes! This is going to be a really short post.

A lot of times we judge other people without knowing what is going on with them. Sometimes, what we see is only a part of their lives, and we don't know the entire story.  So if their behavior changes we come to a conclusion about the entire situation in our mind.

To add an example here, I recently saw a huge change in the behavior of one of my very close friends, whom I have known since many years. Ours is the kind of friendship that was very gradual and took it's own sweet time to grow. My friend never took my calls when I called her, nor did she respond to my texts. And after some time, I felt as if she was doing it on purpose. I had built a story in my mind about how she didn't want to be in touch with me for reasons unknown to me. I felt quite hurt, and a little angry as well as I hadn't done anything wrong. So why would she do that? Many thoughts raced in my mind. One day, much later, I suddenly got a ping from her asking how I was. She called me that day, and I told her that I felt bad that she hadn't kept in touch with me since long. I then got to know that her relationship was going through a rough patch.

I had no clue about all this as she hadn't really told anyone about it. We spoke for a long time that day and it felt good to be updated about each other's lives. A big realization dawned on me that I had judged her too soon. I shouldn't have. I had seen things from my perspective, without thinking that there can be so many other reasons for her change in behavior.

We all do this, sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly; at work, at home, with friends. Sometimes we don't realize but we come to conclusions about how others behave towards us.

If someone's behavior changes suddenly (someone you have known from a long time), then there might be a reason for it. A reason which you don't know. You never know what someone is going through in their life, so you shouldn't judge them. May be just let it be, or may be just give it time.