It’s that time of the year when everybody has made their
list of resolutions for the New Year. I
have always loved the concept of making resolutions. They make me feel motivated and enthusiastic
about the New Year. Every year, I write
down my resolutions for the year. Following or not following them is another
story which I don’t want to get into in this post.
This year too I have a few points in my mind, but I have not written
them down anywhere.
As I mentally go through the list of resolutions I’ve made
(Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with them), a random thought comes to my mind.
What if I had to make a list of resolutions for the advertising
companies? Which companies would be included in the list? What would be the resolutions? This thought is a new one, and needs some serious
reflection.I realize that deciding whom to add to my list is not as difficult as I had imagined. Most of them are pioneers of ridiculous advertisements. So here are some of the advertisers I’d wish to consider:
'A Diamond is a girl’s best friend.’ Well, I wonder who created this saying, because I personally find it hilarious! I mean, I agree diamonds are beautiful, and I don’t have any personal grudge against them. Neither do I have a problem with Gold or any other metal, for that matter. But calling metals and stones as friends and equating them with relationships seems to be a little ‘over-the-top’. If I had a problem, could a diamond sit down, listen to me, and offer me a solution? Certainly not! We get to see ads which tell us that the number of gold chains a girl owns decides how happy she is, or if you want to find the way to a girl’s heart, gift her a ridiculously huge bracelet or necklace (which she probably would never wear).
These advertisers should make the resolution to not weigh emotions with jewelry. Jewelry is awesome, and it’s also essential, but at the end of the day, this is what it is – “a Non-living Metallic and Stony Object”!
The Whitewashers – Fairness Cream Companies
Without much effort, the range of products that comes to my mind now is that of fairness creams. The advertisers of these products should resolve to make more sane ads. They tell us to buy the product and use it daily, or may be twice or thrice a day. Application of the cream would make us fair and beautiful/ handsome and land us an awesome job offer, a super cute, loving and caring guy/ girl, a huge fan following, confidence, success and everything we can ever dream of. According to them everything in life is related to our ‘external beauty’.
Let me mention an example of the insanity. A girl who is rejected by an interview panel, goes to the shop, buys a tube of the fairness cream, uses it and then? Well, weird stuff happens! As she walks down the road, it gets real windy, papers fly off from onlookers’ hands, tunes are in the air (Bollywood movie style), some people fly away due to the beauty wave, and others are just left in a state of shock, with their mouths wide open! “Drama, drama! Lots of it!” On the second visit to the interviewer’ office, she gets her job back. How? Well, I don’t know! May be it’s too windy, and the interviewers don’t realize that her interview was already over. So making a resolution of creating ‘More Sane Ads’ definitely makes sense, right?
Without much effort, the range of products that comes to my mind now is that of fairness creams. The advertisers of these products should resolve to make more sane ads. They tell us to buy the product and use it daily, or may be twice or thrice a day. Application of the cream would make us fair and beautiful/ handsome and land us an awesome job offer, a super cute, loving and caring guy/ girl, a huge fan following, confidence, success and everything we can ever dream of. According to them everything in life is related to our ‘external beauty’.
Let me mention an example of the insanity. A girl who is rejected by an interview panel, goes to the shop, buys a tube of the fairness cream, uses it and then? Well, weird stuff happens! As she walks down the road, it gets real windy, papers fly off from onlookers’ hands, tunes are in the air (Bollywood movie style), some people fly away due to the beauty wave, and others are just left in a state of shock, with their mouths wide open! “Drama, drama! Lots of it!” On the second visit to the interviewer’ office, she gets her job back. How? Well, I don’t know! May be it’s too windy, and the interviewers don’t realize that her interview was already over. So making a resolution of creating ‘More Sane Ads’ definitely makes sense, right?
A person is sad and lonely. He is spotted by a famous celebrity who stops by to ask him what the matter is. The sad person narrates the story of his life, and the celebrity flashes an ‘all-knowing’ smile, places a deodorant bottle in his hands, and next we see that the person is happy, famous and surrounded by many good looking people who are mesmerized by him. ‘Logic’ would have felt so ignored by all this, that It would have probably gone on a solo trip to the Himalayas! If I had to write a letter to the deodorant ad makers, it would be a tiny one. “Please resolve to spare us the lameness.”
Tooth Fairies – The Toothpaste makers
Since the time I was a kid, all the doctors who appear in toothpaste ads have looked alike. A white coat, a serious look on their face (which is sometimes visited by a wide and wise smile), a tube of their favorite tooth paste in one hand and a pen or a stethoscope in the other hand! May be its time for a resolution to change the look of these doctors, and make the ads a little less boring. Apart from boring ads, we also have hilarious ads where they say that if we use a certain toothpaste, we can bite through sugar cane stems as if we are having Maggi or Top Ramen(for those of us who don’t like Maggi), break walnut shells with our teeth, like eating an Éclair! Well, I would like to tell them, “Please don’t give people such ideas!”, or else there would be such a long queue at the dentist’s clinic that he would be forced to quit his profession!
Since the time I was a kid, all the doctors who appear in toothpaste ads have looked alike. A white coat, a serious look on their face (which is sometimes visited by a wide and wise smile), a tube of their favorite tooth paste in one hand and a pen or a stethoscope in the other hand! May be its time for a resolution to change the look of these doctors, and make the ads a little less boring. Apart from boring ads, we also have hilarious ads where they say that if we use a certain toothpaste, we can bite through sugar cane stems as if we are having Maggi or Top Ramen(for those of us who don’t like Maggi), break walnut shells with our teeth, like eating an Éclair! Well, I would like to tell them, “Please don’t give people such ideas!”, or else there would be such a long queue at the dentist’s clinic that he would be forced to quit his profession!
Corn flakes and Oats Makers
This is the 21st century and we are all busy running the race, trying to meet our goals, achieve targets, etc.; In the midst of all this, cornflake and oats manufactures try to make us feel that it is cool to be in a hurry all the time, it is awesome to be so busy that we don’t have time to eat a proper meal. So what is the solution they provide? Corn flakes with zero fat or some such similar product! This is the one power food that will make us look like models and all keep us fit and healthy. A resolution they should make – Please don’t encourage people to skip their meals.
There are many more companies which might need to make some
resolutions to improve their ads. The Paan
Masala company which portrays a rich businessman who eats some Paan Masala and impresses the clients
during a presentation, or the bike company which mistakes a bike to be a stage
to perform Indian Classical dance and promotes the idea that buying a bike
could help one find girls who don’t have anything better to do in life than
dancing on bikes.
Let’s hope 2015 brings some change to the kind of ads we get
to see, and we get to see more meaningful ads ! :-)
