Friendship .....................

"Good Friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there." This is a wonderful quote that is so true.

Most of us have many friends - they are the people we meet at school, college, office or life brings them into our life in some way. But out of these people, some of them become our true friends. They say that the best things happen when you least expect. A true friend will most likely be the person you never thought you would ever be in touch after college or work. They might be people you smiled at but never really spoke. And as life progresses, these people come back into your life and become your true friend. 

Talking a little more about true friends - 

Most of my true and close friends are those whom I had never thought I would be friends with. Most of my friendships have taken time to develop and eventually we have reached a point of 'forever friends'. 

So how do we know if someone is a true friend? 

Well, this is a tuff one! But I guess we will know. Our heart will tell us who is true and who is not. And if I have to be a little more specific, then some of the points to know are:

1. A true friend will always tell you the truth no matter how much it sucks. So, if you get a new hair cut and it looks hilarious on you, a true friend will tell it to you on the face. They won't sugar coat things. They wouldn't mind a few scoldings from you for having said the truth but no matter what they will speak the truth, 

2. They are true to you. 

A true friend will never lie to you or talk about you behind your back. They will never gossip about you. 

3. They accept you as you are.

So you might be a wierdo who loves to have chai at 12 midnight. Or you love watching romantic movies and you might even cry during one. You might want to take a late night walk in your pajamas and tees with a messy hair bun, or you are a hopeless dreamer who dreams of fairy tales and happy endings. No matter what, you are accepted just the way you are. You won't feel the pressure to change yourself just to fit in. You can be you without any worries whatsoever, and this is true friendship.

4. A very good listener and adviser.

We all have those moments when we need someone to listen to us. Someone to just listen. There are moments when we feel like talking for an hour or may be two hours. And all we need is a patient listener. Someone who not only hears us but listens to what we say. Someone who is attentive to what we are talking about and who is there through it all.  Just talking for an hour can be so relaxing and if a friend listens and advises us when we need advice then that sure is the trait of a true friend. 

5. You laugh at jokes which no one else understands.

There are times when all you need is some good laughter. And sometimes you need someone who can make you laugh and who laughs with you! 

6. Helpful people

Your true friends will always try to help you no matter what. Be it something small or big, they will be there for you!

They know the good, the bad and the ugly you. And yet they love you unconditionally. They see your flaws clearly but don't judge you. They might be people you never spoke to for a long time, but the friendship happened at it's own pace. A true friend happens unexpectedly. In fact most of the beautiful things in life happen when you don't plan or expect anything. 

So always keep your eyes open as you never know when you find a true friend!!

FREEDOM !!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it beautiful to watch a bird fly high in the blue sky? There is a certain emotion that arises in our heart when we see it. That emotion is Freedom. It makes the heart feel light and we automatically start smiling! There is immense power in freedom. It is one of the biggest gifts we can possess.

When we are free, we feel happy. We feel a sense of contentment. Our heart starts to sing. You know, the song in the heart? It doesn't really have a tune or any words, but it can be felt by the heart. I call it 'That Song'.

Life was meant to be lived freely. But in our society today, most of us have forgotten that we are free. We have so many things on our mind and in our lives, that we forget to appreciate the simple pleasure of being free.  So how can we feel free completely, if just for a moment?  According to me, it's best to start with the small things. So, if you want to take that trip, then go take it. If you  feel like learning something new, go learn it! If you want to color your hair red, go do it. Start with the small things that make you feel free, that make you feel like that bird in the sky.

There will always be people who will try to make you feel guilty for wanting to be free. The best thing - don't tell them about your plans. Just go and do what your heart tells you to. Society doesn't really need to know or judge you. There will always be uncles and aunties and unknown people who will question your freedom. They will ask you to be one among the herd. They will ask you to fit in. To be a good girl and follow rules. They will try to make you feel like something is wrong with you for being a freedom lover. But you know what? It doesn't really matter what anyone thinks. It is ultimately between You, your Heart and your Freedom. As long as you don't harm anyone, it is OK to be a Rule Breaker. And you can do it your way!

So find your FREEDOM and don't follow THEIR rules. Follow your HEART and be like that tiny bird in the sky.  And when the herd sees you on your own, doing your thing at your own pace, their hearts will also want to fly!! Their hearts will start singing as well.  And after a while, they will become birds too!! A sky full of free birds and souls!!

Them and Us

Our world consists of human beings, many species of animals and plants.  What connects all of us is that common force called 'Life'.  All of us are alive. Yes, we are. And in spite of the outer differences that we possess, the inner force that drives us to survive on earth is but the same.  

Human beings, out of all the life forms seem to have forgotten this connection. We have become so engrossed in our own life, that we have lost the connection with other forms of life. What has happened to us? Why are we in a constant state of rush, why are we forced to run the rat race, why are we made to think that we can survive by letting other forms perish?   We are so engrossed in our little stories of success, failure, promotions, relationships, etc. that we have forgotten to take care and respect Nature, plants and other animal species. 

All we see in big cities are huge buildings instead of lush green trees.  Our roads are filled with vehicles and smoke. Pigeons and other birds struggle to find a place to hide. Many species of animals have become extinct due to the shocking change we have brought about. 

The truth is that we can build a wonderful connection with plants and animals. A simple example-Adopt a plant and keep it at your home. Water it daily and spend 5-10 minutes with it each day. Try to connect to it. And in some time, you will feel a mutual connection. Plants have the ability to clear out stress and bring in harmony. So this is something you should definitely try. If you have space in your balcony, then you can make a small garden over there. Spend some time in your little garden and see the difference. You will feel fresh and happy. 

If you are an animal lover, and you stay at your home and not in a hostel, you can consider adopting a stray.  This is a big responsibility, so before getting into it, make sure you are prepared for it. If you are, then this is one of the best investments you can make in your life. A pet animal like a dog brings in unconditional love into your life. He doesn't expect much in return. All he asks for is care and affection. Animals also have tremendous healing power. They can relax you when you feel tired after a long day. Spending some time cuddling your pet is one of the best ways to rejuvenate. It is so much better than surrounding yourself with electronic devices. 

In olden days people lived in harmony with animals and plants, hence they lived healthier lives. These days, we live fragmented lives. We have pushed away all the others in our desire to move ahead. And this is costing us and no one else.  But, it is never too late to revive the connection we have with our fellow earthlings!! We might make some lasting friendships with them too! 

And trust me, it will be worth it.

Your Tribe !

We live in a big world filled with lots of people. And during the course of our life, we come across many kinds of people. Out of those who resonate with us, a select few become our tribe.  Our tribe can comprise of our family members, our friends or anyone else.

It is always nice to know your who your tribe is.  They are the ones who are there through thick and thin. They see you at your best and share your joy and happiness. They are the ones with whom you laugh, dance, make Maggi, watch a super boring movie, and do so many more things. They are the ones with whom you pluck mangoes off trees in your college, the ones with whom you go and color your hair red.

They are your people. They are your tribe. 

These are the people who don't care if you are in your pajamas and tee and your hair is a mess. They don't expect you to be at your best.  They are the ones with whom you can be YOURSELF, without the slight concern of being judged.  They are the ones you can go to, to have chai at midnight. The ones who don't get tired of listening to your never ending stories. They give you confidence when the world has taken it away from you, and tell you that you rock just the way you are.  They listen and not just pretend to hear you. They understand you even when you don't understand yourself. They are the ones who love you unconditionally for the mess that you are. These people never sugar coat things.  They are frank. They see the truth for what it is and tell it to you.  They are not people pleasers. You might not be in touch with them daily but when you speak, the connection remains.

They are your people. They are your tribe. 

These people have also seen you at your worst. While many people walk away or silently disappear from your life during the hard times, your tribe will always remain. They might be in another country or place, but they will never leave your life. They show you the silver lining when all you see are the clouds. They offer you the simplest solution when you go blank. If nothing, they just tell you that they are there.  And sometimes that is enough.  They are the ones with whom you can have the deepest conversations and not get bored.  They are the real people. They might come into your life at different times, but they are the ones who remain, long after the crowd has gone....

They are your people. They are your tribe.

Each of us has a tribe and they are the ones to be cherished....

Life !!

The journey of self discovery, of exploration, of finding our path! Well yes, that is where many of us are at our life right now. This phase of our life can be a little scary because we are pushed out of our comfort zone. Each day seems different yet the same. When we look closely, we realize that each day is showing us something about ourselves that we didn't know or were not consciously aware of - our likes, our dislikes, our interests, our priorities, our tribe or the people who resonate with us. Many things are changing in our life. Our dreams, our priorities, our circle of friends and those whom we trust, our area of interest, etc.

While this phase of our life is scary, it can also be a wonderful time if we allow it to be! No matter where you are, if you also feel like things around you are changing and that you are questioning your life and who you were previously, then some of these tips might just help you.

1. It is ok to be where you are..

Know that it is OK to be at this phase of your life. It might be a little intimidating because you are discovering and seeing life in a new light. But then, this is a beautiful change in your life and it is showing you who you truly are or truly can be! So embrace it!

2. Self Care 

When you are discovering your life path, it can get a little unsettling since you are in the middle of so much change. During this time, you should practise a lot of self care and self love! Exercise, do what you love, paint your nails, eat an ice cream, listen to some awesome music and dance your heart out. The simple pleasures of life can bring a lot of joy!

4. Many won't get it, and that is ok.

So, if you are at a place of discovery, you will feel like trying out things, learning things, starting something or leaving something. Sometimes even you won't know what your doing. And since ours is a society where if we are different, there will be those who will ridicule us or make fun of our journey. And that is ok. NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO GET YOU. YOU DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO EVERYONE.  The right people will get it. 

5. Embrace being IMPERFECT

In our world where so much emphasis is given to being perfect (just look at the advertising industry), it can be a little intimidating to face our own imperfections that come up during a phase of self discovery. But we need to tell ourself that A REAL PERSON IS IMPERFECT. PERFECTION IS FAKE. So embrace all those imperfections :)

So to end my today's post, just remember to follow your path, your journey, and your timing in life. Don't compare yourself to a friend or family member. Everyone has a specific set of gifts and each one's life is timed differently. Go with the flow and rhythm of your own life!

Being a Konkani

So I'm back to writing after a long time.  And this time I'm writing about a topic I've never written about before.

Everytime people ask me what's my mother tongue and I say Konkani, I get a mixed response from them.  Some people think Konkanis are the same as Marathis. Others think we are the same as Tulu Brahmins. Some know about us. And then there are a few who haven't ever heard about our community.

Ours is a community which is spread across many parts of India. The Brahmin community has different sects like Goud Saraswat Brahmins, Chitrapur Saraswat Brahmins, Rajapur Saraswat Brahmins, etc.  There is a slight difference in the dialect of Konkanis settled in different parts if India.  So, when a Mangalorean Konkani speaks to a Kerala Konkani, we find many differences  in our way of speaking. Over the generations, our language has taken in some of the words of the local community. So those of us living in Kerala use a few Malayalam words in our day to day conversations. The same happens with Mangalorean Konkanis, and those settled in other parts of India.

We can also find some differences in the cuisine.  Those of us settled in certain parts of India are pure vegetarians, while the others are not. There are some different dishes which are included in our food based on where we are settled.  In spite of these differences, there are many commonalities in our food. Delicacies include Patrodo (prepared from a leaf), Ghasshi, Val Val, Adgei, etc. Konkanis from all parts of India prepare these dishes or variations of them.

There are many theories of our origin. According to a theory, the Vedic people settled near the banks of river Saraswati and we are the descendants of these people. Some historians believe we were originally from Goa and fled to different parts during invasion of the Portuguese rulers. There are other theories as well.  Konkanis are around 6 million in population.

Ours is a community which is very old and has seen the rule of many dynasties, kings. It has lived through many changes. It has kept a little of each experience, but has not let go of its traditions and culture.

It's wonderful to be part of such a small, diverse and ancient community!

The Old Man At The Station

It was a usual day.  I alighted from the train and walked along the platform. There were many people -  a sea of people actually; all running towards their destinations. Some were college kids, with text books in their hands, memorizing some long theorem in their book.  And then there were the working people, who are always in a hurry. There were a few sales people with small bags of wonderful things. Their bags contained wonderful gemstone earrings, hair bands, clips and a large number of other things.

In the midst of all this, a little ahead of me was an old man. He looked very old. His hair was completely white. He wore a simple white shirt and brown trousers. He had a pair of spectacles. He carried a backpack which actually looked very cute on him.  There was something different and unique about this old man. He wasn't in a hurry towards any place. He did have a destination to reach, like all of us do, but he didn't rush. He took his time to enjoy every step. He observed his surroundings carefully with a look of contentment and peace.

After a while, I crossed him and started walking away. And then when I turned back, I could see him far away; strolling slowly and joyfully.

I sometimes wish we could all be like him. Being in the moment, and enjoying what it has to offer us. Instead, our society expects us to rush and reach our goals. It is a never ending race. People in MNCs are rushing to climb and reach the top of the corporate ladder. Children are made to rush to learn extra curricular activities and top their class with flying colors and grades. We even get to see people rushing to enjoy their weekends at malls, shopping centers, and restaurants. There is a rush for online shopping too!!

May be we can learn a lot from the old man - to quit the rush, to stop pushing so hard, to let go, just be in the moment, and enjoy the simple things of life!!