Evolving

Life never stays constant. Everything is always changing. Everything is in a state of movement or flux. If we go back to a city after many years, we wouldn't recognize it because it's changed. Call it progress or shift or evolution...it's all the same. I personally like calling it Evolution. Each one of us is in the process of evolving, whether we like it or not. So what does this process feel like? If we look at our own life, we can see how much it has changed in the past few years. The food we liked when we were in college might not be something we like now. In my own personal life, I've experienced it in many ways...Let me be a little precise.. 

My Interests : Well, this is one which happens to all of us, right? Our interests change with time. As for me, I've seen my hobbies and interests change or shift a lot. Until recently, I used to read a lot about Spirituality and was very keen on finding the origin or deeper meaning of life..I used to read the theoretical and abstract articles on spirituality, you know? Of late, I've let go of that... it no longer interests me. What interests me now is the more mundane and normal things of life.. like enjoying a cup of home made hot chocolate... I don't really care how spiritually advanced I am nor do I look for answers about the mysteries of life.... I enjoy reading beauty blogs or watch dancers perform. I understand that there is beauty in the mundane and usual things of life.

Self Acceptance : I used to have a tough time accepting some parts of myself...but now I am starting to accept and love myself exactly the way I am. I can't be another person, nor can they be me. I learnt this lesson from my cat. He has no clue what his personality is, nor does he think as much as human beings do...but he accepts himself and doesn't try to change himself or beat himself up..in fact all plants and animals are peaceful being themselves...and I think it's so important that even humans learn "self-acceptance".

Being Selective : While I was in my early 20's I wasn't bothered about my living space and the food I ate, etc. A bowl of Maggi was more than enough for dinner. Sometimes I would just have a burger at night....I now feel more aware of what I surround myself with...and what my habits are... now I am more aware of what I eat, the space I live in, who I let into my life....in short, I'm learning to be selective and cater to my needs more. I respect my needs and I filter out the rest.

Relationships / Friendships : As we evolve, the people in our life change. Some of the people I never thought would become my friends are the ones I talk to the most these days. Some friendships have stood the tests of time and life.. and these are people I truly cherish. They are people with whom I can talk for hours not get bored. It's quality over quantity now...unlike a few years ago when I was too immature to be aware of this.. 

Let Go : At the end of the day, everything is an experience. There are nice experiences and there are the lessons. The most important thing I tell myself is to let them all go..so that new experiences can happen..I have been the kind who usually has a tough time letting go of experiences and things from the past...but in reality, what is truly there is the present moment..it is really all we have... so no matter what I did or didn't do, the mistakes I made, the people who went wrong in my life... I make a habit to let them go and make space for the new..

Social Media : I used to be a social media addict...I loved putting my life up there...and now... I rarely put up anything related to my personal life up there...I occasionally do upload a pic, but I'm very aware of the audience and I use a lot of privacy settings.. . I use social media for my work, but I don't share my life up there... Instead, if there is something really important, I inform my friends and family personally..instead of putting up my life on stage... I am really becoming a private person..and it's so beautiful! It feels new and very nice..

A lot of small things and big things change in our lives..as we evolve...it's all part of maturing and moving ahead on our life's journey... These changes are nothing to be afraid of..they are normal and we all go through them at some point in our lives..

So, keep evolving, keep changing and keep being you!

Furry Friends

Pets have this amazing capability to heal us and bring us to a state of peace and joy.  Spending time with a pet, even if its just a few minutes can leave us feeling rejuvenated.

Pets animals have a high life force energy, and that is what energizes us. In today's world, life has become very fast and competitive. People spend a lot of time with electronic devices and the fast pace of life has made us lose touch with ourselves.  Studies have shown that just patting a pet for a while can relieve stress and it also has a positive emotional effect on people. 

That is why many hospitals have therapy dogs to help patients recover.  There are places where people can go and spend time with animals, bond with them and feel the connection.  Dogs are known to help children with learning and behavior disorders. They also have a positive impact on older people. 

I have experienced the benefits of bonding with pets myself. This is an experience I can't really describe in words. I feel it in my heart.

So for those of you who have pets, I think you already know the benefits of having them in your life. And those of you who don't like keeping them at home can always visit an animal rescue and spend some time there. A few visits and you might just decide to adopt a pet! 

It's the same life that exists in all of us - humans, animals, plants. Previous generations knew and were consciously aware of this, but with time we have forgotten and have got busy with our life and goals. May be it's time to re-kindle the connection.

A Short Post

I haven't written in a while, so here goes! This is going to be a really short post.

A lot of times we judge other people without knowing what is going on with them. Sometimes, what we see is only a part of their lives, and we don't know the entire story.  So if their behavior changes we come to a conclusion about the entire situation in our mind.

To add an example here, I recently saw a huge change in the behavior of one of my very close friends, whom I have known since many years. Ours is the kind of friendship that was very gradual and took it's own sweet time to grow. My friend never took my calls when I called her, nor did she respond to my texts. And after some time, I felt as if she was doing it on purpose. I had built a story in my mind about how she didn't want to be in touch with me for reasons unknown to me. I felt quite hurt, and a little angry as well as I hadn't done anything wrong. So why would she do that? Many thoughts raced in my mind. One day, much later, I suddenly got a ping from her asking how I was. She called me that day, and I told her that I felt bad that she hadn't kept in touch with me since long. I then got to know that her relationship was going through a rough patch.

I had no clue about all this as she hadn't really told anyone about it. We spoke for a long time that day and it felt good to be updated about each other's lives. A big realization dawned on me that I had judged her too soon. I shouldn't have. I had seen things from my perspective, without thinking that there can be so many other reasons for her change in behavior.

We all do this, sometimes knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly; at work, at home, with friends. Sometimes we don't realize but we come to conclusions about how others behave towards us.

If someone's behavior changes suddenly (someone you have known from a long time), then there might be a reason for it. A reason which you don't know. You never know what someone is going through in their life, so you shouldn't judge them. May be just let it be, or may be just give it time. 

Thanks To All My Readers !

Today, my tiny blog reached 18k views! And I must say, I'm touched that my writing has managed to reach out to readers across the world.

I had never planned on starting to write, but it so happened one day by chance; and I continued it as and when I could.  It has been a long journey. 

They say that our friends encourage us and push us when we need to be pushed. They are there with us through thick and thin and I want to thank some of my friends who have been there since the start of my blog. You guys have always told me to continue writing no matter what.

While I write, I don't plan the post much in advance. I have an idea or a topic, and I just go with the flow of it. I have always kept my writing simple and true, so that everyone can relate to it. Some of it is fiction, some parts are general views and other parts are inspired from real life.  

My readers !!!!

A big thanks to all the readers from all over the world, especially from my country India.  You guys have been very supportive and encouraging! 

If I have managed to touch even a few lives through my posts, I consider my little blog to be a success. :)  I have never written for fame or commercialization. I write for the love of writing, and my theme revolves around life.  If my readers are inspired or touched by my work then nothing makes me happier. 

I do hope to continue writing, and I do wish that all you readers continue to read my posts.  I hope I continue to brighten up, inspire and touch the emotions of my readers in the future! 

Once again, thanks guys!!!! :) Lots of love to all of you. Muaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh :) 

Just Another Story

Astha was a Tulu Brahmin and she stayed at Chennai with her family.  Astha had an elder brother who was settled in the US with his wife.  She hailed from a middle class family and was a software developer.  She was very creative and enjoyed singing in her free time. She was 29.

Amay lived in Bangalore.  He was a Tamil Brahmin and was his parent's only son.  He was a Business Analyst in a leading software company. He was also into theater during his free time. Amay also came from a simple and close knit family.  He was 31.

Astha and Amay met each other a few months ago through a common friend.  They had met just once, but decided to be in touch through whatsapp and facebook.  After sometime, they started talking over the phone, and once they would start talking, they would continue for hours. Eventually they moved to Skyping each other almost daily.

Astha had gone to Bangalore to visit her friend Rashi one weekend and also met up with Amay during this visit.  By then Amay was serious about Astha and he knew that she was the girl of his dreams.

He proposed to her that quiet sunday evening at a Chai Point outlet. There were no chocolates or big gifts, as that would become very cheesy.  Amay got Astha two roses - one yellow rose and one red rose, and a ring.  He remembered Astha tell him that it is important to be friends first in a relationship.  The yellow rose signified friendship and the red signified love.

Amay also said the following lines to her:
"You complete me. You inspire me to become better in life. I am not perfect, but I will take care of you and love you forever. I'm bad at speeches, so to cut it short, ..will you marry me?"

 Astha was a very sensitive and emotional girl and Amay's proposal made her cry of happiness.  She said a "Yes" and he hugged her tight and kissed her forehead gently. She trembled out of emotion.  He was 6 feet tall and she was just 5.2 feet.  She looked tiny next to him, but his embrace comforted her.  She felt like she belonged in his arms.  She blushed and had a shy smile on her face. Her eyes still had tears.   Astha had liked Amay since the first time they had met but she wasn't the kind of girl who would propose a guy. She was the shy kind, and so she never spoke to him about it.

Astha had to return to Chennai that very night. Amay dropped her at the station.  She was happy that Amay proposed but sad that she had to leave Bangalore. She wanted to be with him, and spend more time together.  Long distance relationships can be difficult. 

After a month, Amay and Astha decided to speak to their families about each other. They wanted to spend their lives together. The news came as a shock for both the families as they had no clue about the relationship.  Amay came from a Tamil family and Astha was Tulu. This would be the first inter community relationship in their families.  

When Astha's and Amay's families met for the first time, they got along quite well, though there was a certain amount of nervousness in both them.

The engagement happened in a simple way. Only the families and a few close friends were present. After spending some time with each other, the families realized that there were so many differences in their customs.  She was Tulu and he was a Tamilian.  The families had to communicate in Hindi and English.

In the midst of all the differences, there was something that connected both the families as well.  It was their simplicity and goodness. It was their joy in the small things of life.  And most of all it was the love between Astha and Amay. It was also the shy smile and dreamy eyes of Astha, and the happiness on Amay's face.  These things were enough for the cultural differences to be wiped off.

After a lot of confusion, and new customs, Astha and Amay got married.  They got married twice - one in the Tulu style and the other in the Tamil style. The guest list was kept small - families, close friends and some near and dear ones. 

And that is the story of Astha and Amay. 

-- The above post comes under the category 'Fiction'. Any feedback is welcome. 

A Pen and Paper

We all live a fast paced life. Life is not the way it used to be many decades ago. Many years back, life was simpler. People had more time for themselves, there was no virtual world.  People went for walks, did gardening, read more books.

Though we have progressed a lot, at times we can feel tired with the fast pace of life.  Sometimes we feel disconnected with ourselves or think where the world is rushing to.  And at times like that it is best to get back to basics. Writing down our thoughts as they come in the morning or before going to bed is a great exercise. This process is also called as Journaling and has been around since ages. It doesn't require any extra stuff. All we need is paper and a pen.

When we write, we need to go with the flow. Write the thoughts as they come. Don't control or stop anything. Don't resist any thoughts and ideas. Just allow it to come out onto the paper. Sometimes, we will not know where to start, and at times like this we just need to write whatever comes to our mind first. And allow the words to flow out without us judging ourselves.  We will sometimes have a lot to write - many pages, ideas and inner dialogue. Or at times a couple of pages will suffice.

Whatever it is, just let it be. And once we are done, we should read what we wrote. In the middle of all the extra words and thoughts, we might find some valuable insights about ourselves.

This practice is useful for getting into the state of mindfulness, where we let out what is going on in the mind to make space for new ideas and thoughts. Journaling has proven benefits for stress relief, calming the mind, and getting into a state of being in the present moment. It is also regarded as a form of meditation, just like Zen doodles.

This was practiced by ancient monks and bright minds long ago. Older generations also wrote regularly. It is only with the advent of phones and computers that we lost touch with this practice.

Journaling is gaining a lot of importance now as people are realizing the benefits of this practice.  So those of you who haven't written in a long time, go grab a dairy or sheets of paper and a pen and get scribbling! 

Ankit Becomes Invisible

Ankit worked as a sales manager at a small company in Chennai.  He originally belonged to Coimbatore and had moved to Chennai for work.  He lived in an apartment with two other guys.  A normal day in Ankit's life started with a morning walk at the nearby park. He got back after 30 minutes and got ready for work.  He was at office by 9:30AM sharp.  His long day would get over by 7:00PM, after which he would head back home exhausted.

Ankit worked for a small firm. He wasn't very happy with his job. He wanted a higher position and more salary.  Most of Ankit's friends were settled; some in India, some abroad.

One day Ankit went to a shop with his friend to buy a tee shirt. It was Pongal time, and he felt like gifting himself a tee shirt.  Ankit picked up a gray tee shirt and left. He didn't bother to try it out as he knew it would fit him. He had to go home the next morning as it was Pongal season.  While he was packing his bag, he tried his new tee shirt on.  He didn't feel that anything was different until he looked in the mirror and couldn't see himself!! He got very scared and removed the tee shirt immediately.  He was able to see himself now! For a moment, he froze out of fear and shock! He couldn't understand what had just happened. He tried wearing it again, and the same thing happened. Again and again and again. It took him an hour to get to terms with the fact that the tee shirt made him invisible. How and why, he didn't know.

He wore the tee shirt again and this time he went to his housemate's room. His housemate was listening to music and doing some work.  He entered the room, and the housemate had no clue he was there. Ankit confirmed that the tee shirt indeed had the power to make him invisible.

Ankit had always envied his housemate Alok because he had a much better job. He earned a fortune and owned a big house in Pune.  Ankit had thought that his life was great - a big house, a huge salary, lots of savings.  But that day, Ankit heard Alok speaking to his aunty. Alok wasn't in talking terms with his parents and siblings. The only person who spoke to him was his aunty.  He spoke of how much he missed his parents and sisters and longed for their presence in his life.  All of this came as a big shock to Ankit , as he hadn't anticipated all this.  Ankit didn't wait in the room much; he left.  He got back to his room and wondered why Alok's family broke their relationship with him. He didn't know.

Ankit took his tee shirt with him the next morning to Coimbatore. He was very amazed with it's super powers and didn't want to keep it away. Pongal is celebrated in a grand way in Tamil Nadu. Ankit family and relatives had come home and grand celebrations were on.  Ankit 's relatives ask him the usual question when they met him - when was he planning on settling down.  Ankit had to answer to everyone patiently.  Some of his cousins made fun of him.  He felt quite bad and sometimes wished he had also got married earlier.

One of his cousins Suraj had come from America. His wife and daughter couldn't join him as the daughter had her classes.  Suraj's marriage was spoken to have been one of the most perfect weddings of the family.  His wife was beautiful, and both of them had great jobs. Suraj was the ideal guy of the family - a very big salary and a good marriage.  Ankit's relatives always compared him with Suraj.  Ankit had felt quite envious of Suraj many times before.

That evening Ankit tried out his invisibility tee shirt and was walking around outside his house. He didn't want to speak to anyone for a while, and so he wore the tee shirt.  As we walked, he spotted Suraj speaking on the phone. He spoke of how he hardly ever saw his wife, let apart speaking with her. Both of them were highly successful in their careers, had made a lot of money, but their marriage was empty.  To the world they were a super successful family, but in reality their life was empty.

Many such small incidents happened after Ankit got the tee shirt.  It made him realize a very important thing. He had always thought he wasn't fortunate enough, rich enough, and successful enough. But he now saw that the person who had a huge salary was lonely. Money and success were there, but life as such had no meaning. They say money can't buy happiness, and Ankit had seen it for himself.  The person whose marriage appeared great to society was actually miserable. That day Ankit realized that he should stop complaining about his life and just be grateful for it. He had a job,a family, and so many other blessings.  His life was good.

We sometimes feel that others have it easy or that they are better off than us. But in reality, everyone has their own story. Most of the time, we don't know what someone is going through. So the best we can do is to not judge another person, and to trust that our life is the way it is meant to be. What works for someone might not work for us.

We set ourselves free the moment we trust in the timing of our life and when we stop comparing our life with others.