Not Yet Married ? Huh !!

“Don’t worry Beta. You will also get married soon.  Everything will be fine.”, said Aunty X (a family friend) as she was going to get herself a Gulab Jamun at the function venue.  Well, you would now think ‘What function?’. The answer to which would be a WEDDING. Yes. We were at the wedding of my mom’s friend’s daughter Tanvi.   Tanvi had just completed her graduation, and by the time she was in her last semester, her profile was ready and shining on all the leading matrimonial sites.  After a brief hunt for Mr Right (during which she and her parents encountered many Mr Wrongs), she finally found the true Mr Right (or let’s hope so).  The guy is a Doctor, and hence the marriage is considered a perfect one!

Coming back to what I was saying, I was a little puzzled as to how to reply to Aunty X.  So I thought it best to just give her a plain, big smile.  Aunty X responded with a sympathetic smile, which looked like one in some TV serial I’ve seen, not able to recall which one though!  She had a consoling look on her face, and for a moment I was scared thinking what if she starts weeping because of my “Non- married” status.  Thankfully, she didn’t.  And left for the Gulab Jamun.

A while after the “Aunty X” encounter, I was sitting and working on finishing my ice cream.  Mom was busy speaking to a friend she met, and my cousin was playing a game on her phone. There were people all around in the wedding hall, dressed in the shiniest, brightest saris, lehangas, salwars ever.  The place also seemed perfect for a Gold Advertisement Project.  People covered themselves with necklaces, bangles, rings, earrings, so much so that I feel leading gold companies would have felt proud of their importance in these people’s lives.  This seemed their moment of accomplishment and success.  Most gold ads tell us that the source of a girl’s true happiness is directly proportional to the gold she wears.  Her dreams, her life, her passion all centres around this yellow metal.  If you have 3 rings, you are happy.  But if you have one around each finger, then you have attained bliss.  What if you are just too lazy to have yourself covered with the glittering metal ? Well, then something must be seriously wrong with you! May be you are an outcast! Go watch BappiLehari’s songs.  Learn about the importance of the metal from him.

As I looked around, I couldn’t help but think of the “Aunty X” encounter.  I didn’t feel angry about her wedding advice, and the consoling smile (which frightened me a little as I mentioned earlier).  What I couldn’t understand was why was I being consoled.  Did Aunty X see me and feel I was sad? Or was this how the Aunty X clan treated all ‘Yet To Be Married’ people? I think it by all means is the  latter option. I at least choose to believe so.

Once you’ve completed studies, and have landed yourself a job, the world expects you to settle down.  Yes. “Settle Down” is the phrase! The phrase that haunts most of us “non-married” people.  There is nothing wrong in these two words. Why blame the phrase or the two words.  After all, they are just part of the English vocabulary. But why do people, who don’t even know you well enough, advice you on one of the most sensitive topics of your life? Don’t worry, I won’t ask you for the answer. The answer to this question has always been unknown.  May be that is just how the society is, filled with Aunty Xs and Ys, who ask THE question and disappear, and leave you pondering over what the answer could be.  They ensure that you have enrolled in all the matrimonial sites, put in all the very important details about yourself like your height, weight, complexion, and of course- a photograph of yourself preferably in a Sari, topped with jewellery. These matrimonial sites have convinced Aunty Xs that they are made for you to find your Mr Perfect.  The good guy.  What according to the Aunty X clan does ‘Perfect’ or ‘Good’ mean? Is it the guy with an MNC job? The guy whose salary figure boasts of a number followed by I-don’t-know-how-many-zeroes? The guy who is tall and good looking? And has the moustache that could give other guys a feeling of insecurity? The guy who owns a car? Or who doesn’t talk much and is the shy and intellectual kind? Or the guy who knows all the mantras and shlokas in all the books ever published? Or the guy who hates smoking and drinking so much that he refuses to watch movies which show people smoke or drink? Well, you never know. 

The highlight of the Aunty X trend is that it doesn’t end at some function. You could bump into them at the mall, or at the theatre, or the gym or even the loo (if you are that unlucky). It’s always best to be prepared for an Aunty X wherever you are!  If she meets you, and greets you, then you should be sure that you will be asked THE question (“Why did you reject the proposal of the Engineer from US, whose room is filled with GOLD medals?”, or given THE advice (“There is a GOOD boy, from a GOOD family, having a GOOD job and GOOD salary and GOOD looks, living in Goodland.  My advice to you is be a GOOD girl and say Yes to his proposal!”) 

I came out of my train of thoughts, when my phone started ringing.  It was Tata DOCOMO, trying to market its latest offers I guess, by playing some unheard songs.  I cut the call.  I just realized one thing, that seemed to make me peaceful.  Aunty Xs and Ys, will always exist.  They will never understand that you can be happy even if you are not married yet.  Even if you don’t like covering yourself up with gold, and get screwed up trying to wear a Sari. Even if you haven't found your Mr. Perfect yet and  find it difficult to relate to their concept of ‘Good guys’ and ‘Perfect Ones’.  Their questions will always be asked.  The answers will never be enough.  Just like how TV serials never stop.  They continue.  It’s up to us to tune into something else.  

I finished the last part of my ice cream, and headed for the next.  I decided to get myself some carrot halwa too, to treat myself for the discovery I had made!  On my way, I saw Aunty X sitting near another person of my non-married race, with the same sympathetic TV serial look. 

I turned and rushed towards the desserts !